Gronk, Can We Talk About Last Night?

Stop the press. Rob Gronkowski was partying after the Super Bowl.

Our overly media-saturated world was turned upside down this week with reports of a 22-year-old, porn star befriending, touchdown celebrating, “yo soy fiesta”-ing, superathlete took off his shirt and fist pumped with a bunch of bros after losing the Super Bowl.

And we’re shocked?

Gronk took his shirt off? You don't say!

The guy has built a national fan base for sounding like a Neanderthal on camera, possessing Neanderthal strength on the football field, and dancing like a drunken Neanderthal in clubs. And suddenly we’re going to crucify him for keeping strong and carrying on?

If anything, the outrage over “DanceGate,” just speaks to the disconnect with fans and professional athletes. Our buzz wore off as we departed Super Bowl parties and headed home miserable. We’re sick to our stomachs for the next 24 hours, barely able to keep down saltines after a crushing Super Bowl loss, and he has the audacity to party after actually playing in the losing effort?

It doesn’t seem right, but it’s not a new occurrence. None of this is exactly new.

Athletes have always blown off steam after successes and failures on the playing field, except now we have fans with camera phones who want to see their footage on TMZ and Deadspin. If you don’t think players in the 1970s resorted to a huge mound of blow after blowing a huge lead on the mound, you’re naïve. Hell, the Dallas Cowboys of the 1990s shared a mansion for throwing insane parties and cheating on their wives after games and practices.

Oil Can Boyd was wasted for more than half of his starts. Ever heard of Dock Ellis? The parties these guys threw during the game, blew Gronk’s brofest out of the water.

We’re just bitter because we couldn’t drag ourselves anyplace other than bed Sunday night, and Gronk dragged himself to the players’ party and started ripping shots. We had the difference between us and the pro athletes we idolize thrown in our faces the day after the Super Bowl and we couldn’t stomach it. Imagine if he had partied the week before the game? (GASP!)

Other members of the team had been at the party too, by the way. In fact, many members of the team were there. They had a bad day at work and needed a drink. Gronk just drank too much.

If you’ve never needed a drink after a crappy day at work, then you aren’t human. And if you’ve never started dancing erratically after throwing a few too many back, then you aren’t drinking with the right people.